10 Reasons To Never Move Again

by: Charis Johnson

1. You have more stuff and less space than you think you have.
2. The gas company tells you to give them 48 hours, but takes 5 days to turn your gas on. You will take many cold showers...brrrr.
3. The cable company won't let you schedule more than 24 hours in advance, and then takes a week. You will lose all of your DVR'd shows.
4. The electrical company will take 4 days to shut off your old account, but can miracuously start your new account immediately. You will pay double for several days.
5. Your movers charge by the hour. They will take many of them.
6. Your movers will be unaware that the only thing you remember from 3 years of high school Spanish are the curse words coming out of their mouths.
7. Your spouse will inevitably be scheduled to go out of town, leaving you to handle everything alone.
8. The phrases "taking wallpaper down" and "no big deal" should never be used in the same sentence.
9. Priceless items will be broken and destroyed in the process. The useless crap will make it through the move just fine.
10. It doesn't matter how regular you are, as soon as you take out a cardboard box and tape, you will start your period.