Finding the Answer

by: Charis

Questioning. Searching. Over-analyzing. I seem to be really good at that. If there’s a big decision to be made, you don’t have to worry about me jumping into anything without scrutinizing every detail of it. Sometimes it may appear to others around me that I’m acting spontaneously…but be assured…I’ve been examining the options, deliberating the choices, and planning in private for months. I may have gotten engaged on October 6, 2007 and married 70 days later on December 15, 2007…but the wedding planning started January 1, 2007 and the church had been booked by June 1st (unbeknownst to Duffy).

I don’t shy away from walking toward the hard option if God’s calling me to it, the narrow path that appears difficult, dangerous, and scary. I’m not afraid of jumping off the mountain if that’s what God calls me to. If He catches me - I get to experience Him as a faithful protector. If He lets me fall and get broken - I get to experience Him as a faithful healer. Either way, I draw closer to God and am reminded of His character, sovereignty and goodness.

But I am afraid of…making the wrong decision. I imagine that I have two little tiny women sitting on my shoulders talking in my ear…one dressed in white with a shiny halo…and one dressed in red with horns and a pitchfork. I am terrified that the little one with horns is going to trick me into making the wrong decision.

“God is not a God of confusion.” A wise man shared this nugget with me a few weeks ago and I keep repeating it to myself over and over….letting the truth sink in. God is not hiding the answer from me in a place that I can’t find it.

Deuteronomy 4:29 “But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.”

So why haven’t I found it yet? Why then is the answer not clear? Why can’t I figure out what to do? I tend to think that if I start seeking God…there should be an immediate result of finding Him. Sometimes the seeking part goes on longer than I’m comfortable with. I’m left dangling in indecision and it gets REALLY uncomfortable. This uneasy place of ambiguity…this is where faith, obedience, and belief are necessary. This is where we grow into a deeper faith, reach a new plateau - and it is here that we are finally ready to receive God’s answer.

"When God seems silent and our prayers go unanswered, the overwhelming temptation is to leave the story- to walk out of the desert and attempt to create a normal life. But when we persist in a spiritual vacuum, when we hang in there during ambiguity, we get to know God." The Praying Life, pg 192

The One Thing
by: Paul Colman

Well here I am in a river of questions
Can I pour my heart out to a listening ear
Well, I see this life - its valley’s and mountains
And I think about all the roads that brought me here

Well I’ve questioned my reasons this life I’m living
I’ve questioned my ability to judge wrong from right
I’ve questioned all the things I’ve ever called certain
My race, my religion, my country, my mind

But the one thing I don’t question is you
You really love me like you say you do
So, hold me…cause I really need you

Well I’ve questioned significance, meaning, and relevance
Does the work I’m doing really matter at all
Well I’ve questioned my friendships - a liar’s dependence
Who will still be here when I fall?

But the one thing I don’t question is you,
You really love me like you say you do
Yeah, the one thing I don’t question is you
You really love me like you say you do
So, hold me…cause I really need you

Only one thing doesn’t change
Only one thing stays the same
All I know at the end of the day
Is your love remains

And the one thing I don’t question is you
You really love me like you say you do
So, hold me…cause I really need you
Hold me….cause I’m lost without you