Anonymous

by: Charis

Today I was looking over friends Christmas blogs and noticed I had some comments that I hadn't read yet. One ...I wish I hadn't. It appears someone spent alot of time composing this note....so I've spent quite alot of time thinking about what their goal could've been. Before I get too far with my thoughts - please read it for yourself:

"Anonymous said...



Have you ever though that perhaps God doesn't want you to have any children; and would rather have you two focus on Him instead? I firmly believe God is sending you a message with all these stumbling blocks such as miscarriages, infertility, rejected adoption requests, etc.? Don't you think the fact you keep coming back for more with your "little quest" might be a bit selfish on your part?
A lot of people would like to have pleasures and joys in life. I, myself, want a million dollars. I want a big fancy house, a fast sports car, a recession-proof job and a good-looking spouse who makes love to me at my beck and call. But I have none of these things; but you don't see me crying about it on the Internet. Why? Because after a lot of soul searching and long talks with God, I realize that stuff is never going to happen. And if it does happen, it would be in HIS timing and not mine.
I think you asking people for the sum of $30,000 to fulfill your own desire of adoption a child is more than selfish, it's unholy. Let's say you do have a child at age 35 and you spend your life with that child until your death at age 85. That's 50 years with this child. But then, in death (just like everybody else), you spend INFINITY years with God (provided you have a real relationship with Him). I think God is telling you that His time is more valuable and important than just 50 little years of self-gratification.

Some people just aren't destined to have children, or get married, or be a millionaire or have supermodel looks. You just have to appreciate the things in life that God brings you and prepare yourself for the afterlife that awaits you through Him.
I'm not trying to be vile or mean. I'm just stating the facts; and telling you the Truth when no one else will. You don't need to know my name. It's not important; and I'm not important. But you do need to think about GOD and what HE wants you to believe is important. For starters, I think it's about getting to know his son Jesus Christ. I've been a believer for over 20 years; and there is still so much I don't know. Perhaps maybe you two can enjoy this time as just a married (or even divorced) couple to find out.

Okay, for starters - obviously this person doesn't know us. Our friends and family that know us (or even know of us) know that:
1. We love the Lord with all our heart, souls, and minds - and have made very difficult decisions in this walk because we felt the Lord calling us to it. We love & serve God first - everything comes after that.
2. We love each other very much and this journey has not torn us apart - but has drawn us closer together into a deeper intimacy in our marriage. We have been blessesd by the hardship and journey.
3. Our friends and family love us enough to tell us hard things if they think it's best for us. We don't need strangers for that.

As a believer, I also know that:
1. Christ calls us to not judge other people. That's His job - and he doesn't need your help to do it. (Matt 7:1-6)
2. Christ calls us to be humble and love others above yourself. If this person truly felt that God had spoken to them about our need to not have children, why didn't they care enough about us to send an email and ask for our phone number or to meet with us. Don't you think a message that important should be delivered in person? The greater act of loving others above yourself means that you consider how they might best receive the message that you are presenting. This message was not created in love, nor presented in love.
3. Some of the Godliest women mentioned in the Bible had difficulty conceiving and it was the journey of submitting their desires to God that drew them closer to the Lord. Hannah never gave up, and God heard her prayers. (Other women: Rebekah, Rachel, Tamar, Hannah, Elizabeth, Ruth, and Samson's Mom...just to name a few)

The most interesting part of my repsonse to this email is...it didn't bother me, other than deeply saddening me that this person misrepresented my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It was so far off base, unbiblical, and close-minded - that it didn't warrant any emotion from me - other than sadness. Folks, this is the type of "Christian" that is giving Christ a bad name. The judgement and unsolicited advice you see here is what is turning people away the church and organized religion. This was a busybody thrusting their personal opinion at the world in the name of Jesus - and it does not in any way represent the heart and will of God.

So, dear anoymous soul, I would encourage you to stop playing "God" in people's lives and speaking with false authority on issues that God has not given you. Before you make life decisions for people you do not know - please consider the effect you might have in drawing them away from the Lord. Had I been an unbeliever - I would not only have been angry with you, but probably at the god you spoke of as well. Your "well-intentioned" email wouldn't have changed my mind about my decision to have children - but it would build my case that Christians are judgemental. (On a personal note - I encourage you to continue reading my blog - as you will see that God will use our infertility to bring glory to Him for years to come. Although that is not your plan for us - we have faith that it is HIS plan for us. However, I do ask that you refrain from commenting again.)

To my dear friends that would probably like to stone this person...please don't post hateful things. I know you love us and feel protective over us - but we need to rise above and pray for this misguided brother or sister in Christ - that they may learn how to extend grace and mercy to people instead of judgement, and that God would heal the other people that this person has hurt in their quest to "state the facts".