Adoption: Choosing a Path

I’ve been thinking about sharing all that I’ve learned about adoption over the past three years, and then confirmation came via a request from a follower of this blog. My plan is to begin with a broad summary and then dig down deeper into the details of each option. I preface this series by saying that this will be information with a scattering of theology and personal opinion….take it or leave it as you wish.


Very Basic Info on Different Types of Adoption:

1. International Adoption - These adoptions involve children who were born in a country other than where the adoptive parents reside or are citizens. These adoptions not only involve the normal state and federal laws that apply to all domestic adoptions, but they also are impacted by the laws of foreign countries and international treaties.

a. Length of Wait: 1-4 years depending on the country you are adopting from
b. Cost: averages between $25,000-$45,000
c. Pros: Many people like this option because once you adopt the child, there is no way for the birth family to take try to take the child back. There is also a GREAT need in many countries for families to adopt orphans.
d. Cons: In many instances, there is no way for your child to be able to find and have a relationship with their birth family. With some agencies/countries it is also uncertain as to whether the child has been exposed to or contracted HIV/Hepatitis, etc.
e. Agencies: Gladney or Buckner (Dillon International)

2. Domestic Adoption - An adoption that involves adoptive parents and a child that are citizens and residents of the United States.

a. Length of Wait: Varies greatly depending upon how specific your preferences are. My experience is that it would take a minimum of 6-9 months to get your homestudy and paperwork completed, be matched, and have a birthmother deliver the baby.
b. Cost: $8,000-$45,000, depending on the agency and preferences you select
c. Pros: You may have the opportunity to meet and maintain contact with your birthmother, be at the hospital for the birth (assuming it’s a newborn), and have access to the child and parent’s medical history.
d. Cons: The birthmother could choose to keep the child after birth. Some states don’t have clear adoption laws, thus creating the fear that the child could be taken away in the future. (Texas, however, has great adoption laws that favor the adoptive parents. More info to come on this topic!)
e. Agencies: You could use an agency, facilitator, or lawyer to help you through the process. For an agency/lawyer approach: Little Flower Adoptions/David Cole or Adoption Access. For a facilitator: Lifetime Adoptions.

3. Foster Adoption - When a child has been removed from their home by CPS (Child Protective Services), but the birth parents’ rights have not yet been terminated by the court, a social worker might place the child with foster-adopt parents who will work with the child during family reunification efforts but who will adopt the child if the child becomes available for adoption.

a. Length of wait: Depends on where the child is in the process. From the time a child is taken into CPS custody, social workers have 1 year to finalize a permanent plan for the child. Also, the child has to be in your home 6 months before you can adopt.
b. Cost: Free in most cases. Until the child is adopted, you will receive monthly stipends, free healthcare, and free childcare for the foster child. Once adopted you can negotiate stipends until they’ve completed college (tuition and fees at a public university in Texas will also paid for).
c. Pros: You are helping children who desperately need love and support in the midst of turmoil. It is the most financially feasible approach to adoption. Once the courts have terminated the parent’s rights, there is no way for them to take back the child.
d. Cons: The child could be with you for an extended amount of time, and then not be available for adoption. It is very difficult to get young infants or children that have not been exposed to drugs or neglect of some kind.
e. Agencies: Covenant Kids or Arrow

4. Embryo Adoption - When a couple has completed their family, but still has remaining embryos that are frozen (created through In-vitro fertilization), they can opt to place them for adoption. Once adopted, the embryo is carried by the adoptive mother until birth.

a. Length of wait: 6-12 months+ to receive the embryos, and then another 10 months for the duration of the pregnancy if the procedure worked.
b. Cost: $12-16,000 (Adoption & Medical Fees)
c. Pros: You get to adopt your baby before it’s born, thus controlling it’s prenatal environment and experiencing a pregnancy. There is also a great need as there are over 500,000 embryos (snowflake babies) in the U.S. awaiting adoption right now.
d. Cons: You may not get pregnant and carry a baby to full term. Currently, this option is not eligible for the tax credit reimbursement. (More on the tax credit to come!)
e. Agencies: Nightlife Adoption or Bethany Christian Services